Relationships with Professional Sista, Marsha McLean
How many of you are in a loveless marriage that is destroying you like popular talk show host, Wendy Williams? She reported knowing for years that her husband had a double life yet she says she stayed for the sake of her son. As a professional clinician, I question when people say this. What is the benefit of staying in an unhealthy marriage and exposing children to the intensity of their parents not wanting to be together?
You see, when you stay in an unhealthy marriage or relationship there may be trauma or stress for the children in that household. I bring attention to this subject because bottom line, we need to stop staying in marriages that are killing us. Ask yourself a question, "do you avoid going home because you don't want to argue anymore?"
Now don't get me wrong I am an advocate for marriage. I love good committed relationships, but let's be honest, some are just business deals…investments. Are you staying for the children's sake or is it actually your own dependency on what's familiar? I am here to tell you everything that's comfortable is not best for a situation.
And how do your children actually feel about you staying for them? Would you be shocked at the answer they give you? Children can be very perceptive. They know if you're miserable and when you're not happy, they feel it. They see this and may even blame themselves for it. So the next time you consider staying in an unhealthy marriage for the sake of a child, I want you to think about the catastrophic danger you may be causing. These children need to know what it's like to see two people in love with mutual respect for one another. They need to witness a marriage consistency evolving into wonderful highs. Don't teach children how to overlook someone else's pain. Let them understand that your adult decision is not a reflection of them but a consequence of choices.
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